This is the continuation of my diary of the largest, longest possible game of Galactic Civilizations 2: Twilight of the Arnor. I set out to bring peace to the galaxy, but since the first entry on this page is going to be called "Star Destroyer", I think you can probably tell how well that went.
This diary was originally published as a free book with the October 2008 issue of PC Gamer UK. It's so preposterously long that our content management system can't handle it in a single post, so from Day 27 onwards it will continue here.
It's never polite to annihilate a race's home system, but destroying Drengia wasn't the crippling blow I needed to deal. The Telenanth - that life-eating crystal giving them exponentially greater power - had finally kicked in. One of their worlds had nothing on it but torture-based entertainment facilities, and without a single factory it was producing ships faster than any other race's most productive world.
You can imagine what their factory-world was like. Even with three Peace Swarms looming over it, it churned out more battleships than I had time to fight. Cultural takeover would be impossible with that much military presence, so it had to be kept in check until I could build a new Terror Star in the vicinity.
During the last economic boom, everyone made money except me. I lost some 200 billion credits a week. I was putting it all, and more, into espionage, to build up an agency of Spies to dwarf the mass-infiltration of Day 11 - precisely for a rainy day like this. After checking the Drengin were virtually broke, I dispatched my operatives. In a single turn, every factory on their manufacturing capital planet shut down.
While Starfucker Omega was constructed in the Drengin constellation, I sent fleets of constructors to start work on two others: Starfucker Prime went up in Ecstasy space, ready to rip through the Terran empire, and Starfucker Pro was built deep in Drath territory - relations between us were plummeting, and I needed a contingency plan.
And yet it wasn't until my nearly-operational Death Star (I mean Terror Star) was destroyed by a single plucky X-Wing (I mean Terran Fighter with X-shaped wings) that I stopped to think. Wow, am I the bad guy here?
God, look at me. This was supposed to be my quest for peace, and I've become addicted to destroying suns.
It's my answer to everything. How did I try to mend relations with the Terrans? I destroyed a sun. How did I vanquish the Dread Lords? I destroyed their sun. How did I tackle the volatile Drengin? Destroyed all their suns. Drath relations dodgy? Gear up to destroy some suns.
It was spreading to real life, too. Deputy Editor Tim called just now to ask how this diary was coming along, and all I could say was "It's taking a while. Couldn't we just destroy the sun?"
My one nod to diplomacy, researching the Greater Tolerance technology, was really just a ploy to keep people buttered up long enough that I could build sun-destroyers outside all their suns - and then destroy all their suns.
Mercifully, I was distracted from my mid-war ethics crisis by a problem I couldn't solve by destroying suns.
Starfucker Omega steamrolled half the remaining Drengin power base, and Starfucker Supreme arrived just in time to plough through the other. That problem really could be solved by destroying suns.