As anyone who regularly watches GCSE-light gazillionaires thump a cow hide about will know, today is transfer deadline day in the UK Football League.
And if there's one thing even more prevalent on televised football than the Beautiful Game's philosophers using "y,know" as punctuation, it's wild speculation about who's buying who.
Oooh! Harry Redknapp's wearing a purple tie. That's Gareth Barry's favourite colour!
Wow! Fernando Torres has been spotted falling out of a Limo in Skegness. Apparently, he missed the kerb.
Gasp! QPR's Joey Barton is Tweeting Smiths lyrics which suggest he's feeling melancholy and alone. (Of course he is, he's a Smiths fan...)
But what of our own superstars in the video games kingdom? Which high-profile big money moves would best benefit your favourite developers?
In the spirit of transfer deadline day's frantic goings-on, we've come up with some of our dream gaming swapsies. If only...
Peter Molyneux to Media Molecule
Even Insane Penis Rage himself has recently admitted that Fable III didn't live up to his lofty ambitions - so he must be extra envious to see his protégés at Media Molecule soak up the accolades for their spectacular LittleBigPlanet series.
A return for the old master to his Lionhead alumni at Sony's family-friendly house of genius would no doubt give the series an extra twist of the quintessentially English, and a real boost in the script department. Also, he knows John Cleese.
On the flip side, Media Molecule's amiable, considerate crew might just temper Peter's more outlandish promises to the press...
Possible downside: Does LBP really need anatomically correct genitals?
David Cage to Rockstar
There may have been a bit of a verbal scuffle between Cage and Team Bondi over who puts the finest motion in gaming's ocean, but it was clearly interactive entertainment's answer to hair pulling in the playground.
Rockstar has long been the king of the open-world genre, and took a big step towards in-game subtlety by working with Bondi on L.A Noire. But what that experience had in facial detail, it almost ballsed up in pacing.
Step forward Cage; a man so masterful at metering gaming plot and participative emotion, he almost convinced us that Heavy Rain's implausible saga made perfect sense.
A GTA V that stimulates our tear ducts as much as our Tony Montana fantasies? A Red Dead Redemption that pulls the heartstrings as much as its bucking steeds? Go on then.
Possible downside: The Housers would have to keep Cage away from those sex scenes. Shudder.
Vince Zampella and Jason West to DICE
Now we're talking. If EA's top priority with Battlefield is simply to rattle Activision's cage - and let's be honest, at times that's seems mighty true - then this would surely be the signing of the summer.
The men who created Modern Warfare working on its greatest (and bitterest) rival? Forget the injection of Hollywood production or the explosive rhythm of the campaign - it'd make for one hell of a poster tagline...