CVG Classics: Bitmap Bros. Byte Back
14th Sep 2012 | 13:45
It's Friday, the day of the week we dig through our massive archive of classic Computer and Video Games magazines and wax nostalgic about *wheezy old man voice* the good old days of print.
Friday is also the day we put on high heels, a silk red dress and (REDACTED).
This week our wandering eyes have been drawn to the glorious cover you can see on the right. Honestly, it's because we thought it was the Battle of Hoth from Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back.
Of course, after closer inspection we realised actually that was just a bit of art for Starglider 2, a 3D space flight-sim video game developed by Argonaut Games, the studio that eventually made Star Fox. Boo!
This issue is what the wordsworths in the print magazine industry would call a 'bumper issue', dishing out 130 pages worth of content for just £1.10. Along with the breaking news it included reviews of Super Hang-On, Batle Zone and Asteroids, written by one Julian 'Jaz' Rignal, who you can find hanging about on Twitter. Feel free to send him messages of love and adoration.
As always, If there's anything not featured here you'd like to see included in future CVG Classic updates, have a moan in the comments. Constructively.
Above: The cover for the September 1988 issue of CVG. Bathe in its sci-fi goodness. Then go and watch Star Wars on Blu-Ray. Or, if you're feeling particularly sensitive, check out Star Wars: Revisited, a fan edit project that's a giant middle finger to George Lucas.
YESTERDAY'S NEWS: Bitmap Bros. Byte Back
1988 sees the return of the Bitmap Bros, the acclaimed studio behind "fabulous vetically scrolling Xenon", which CVG reveals are working on "Speedball, a futuresport game featuring metallic graphics and fast and furious gameplay."
"Two teams take possession of a large steel ball with the help of a large and vicious array of weaponry. It certainly sounds like thrilling stuff."
Tyne after Tyne: Tynesoft's Summer Olymiad enters the Olympic Games cash-in race with all versions ready for release in time for the events. Individual Olympic sports covered include fencing, diving, clay pigeon shooting, hurdles, triple jump and others.
Burning Rubber: Mastertronic's moto-cross racing game, Motorbike Madness is released at the start of September on the MAD label for the Atari ST, Amiga and IBM PC, and on the Mastertronic label for all 8-bit machines. The idea is to ride an off-road motorbike around a hazardous course in the shortest possible time. Points are scored for a perfect run, but spills result in cash being spent to repair the bike.
RETRO REVIEWS: Leisure Suit Larry and the Lounge Lizards
- Daley Thompson Olympic Challenge - 8
- Netherworld - 8
- Super Hang-On - 8
- Barbarian - 7
- Fernandez Must Die - 8
- Mickey Mouse - 7
- Diamond - 4
- Ultimate V - 8
- Halls of Montezuma - 6
- Starglider 2 - 9
- Space Harrier - 6
- Bombjack - 6
- To Hell and Back - 5
- Hot Shot - 1
- Whirligig - 6
- Road Blasters - 5
- Fire and Forget - 3
- Overlander - 7
- Helter Skelter - 7
- Sky Chase - 3
- Hawkeye - 3
- Bard's Tale - 7
OLD SCHOOL ISSUES: Why do gamers abuse each other?
I often wonder about the mentality of people who feel obliged to be abusive about people they have probably never met. What do they get out of it? The cachet of having slagged off a famous name in the national press? The dubious pleasure of pointing out their abusive letters to friends and sniggering over their words in newsagesnts?
Take David Giffog's letter about Wayne in the July issue of C+VG. The man has come to the conclusion that Wayne is a pervert purely on the impression he has of him from a picture in a magazine. And why not? Surely everyone knows that people who have long bleached hair are always perverts? Thank God the police are not so biased or there would be a lot of innocent people in our prisons. I imagine that David has short brown hair and wears smart, neat clothes. (Rather like Dr Cripin did.)
I accept that looks are a matter of personal taste and David may not find Wayne attractive (perhaps he also prefers men with short brown hair!) but most people who reach a reasonable level of maturity are willing to accept that not all people's tastes are going to be exactly the same. David doesn't seem to have reached this level yet which leads me to suspect that he is either very young, or at least 'young at heart'.
Most people have no difficulties telling men from women, but if David is confused by people who have long hair, then perhaps he is looking at the wrong signs. There are a number of very good books for children on the differences between the male and female of the species and if he cares to read them, I'm sure he will be able to work out why the two genders are different. (Something a little more basic than the length of their hair, David!)
As for intelligence, I hardly need to go into this do I? Wayne writes for a national magazine about a hobby that he enjoys and plays well. David writes a childish and abusiv letter about people he has never met in order to gain attention. Which is the most intelligent?
Most of the people who have met Wayne have found him friendly and easy-going, quite willing to put himself out for others, whether it is by talking to new PBMers on the phone and explaining why they are having problems with a certain game, or putting people up for the night at his place when they come down to London and then miss the last train home, but these are things you only learn about someone from knowing them. You cannot dedu ce what a person is like by looking at a picture of him in a magazine.
- Linda Little, Redhill
CVG's reply Actually Linda, we at C+VG tend to suspect that nice bloke though he is, Wayne is a bit of a pervert.
CRIMES AGAINST ADVERTISING: Barbarian 2
This is more a crime against fashion, or is it physical appearance? Just look at that hair, it's the stuff of nightmares. That poor slain mythological beast...
CVG CLASSICS ARCHIVE
- Issue 117, August 1991: Sonic review, Mega CD revealed
- Issue 128, August 1992: SNES imports and £500 Neo Geo conundrums
- Issue 154, September 1994: Neo Geo CD, 3DO and PC Engine - The 32-bit war!
- ssue 227, October 2000: "Awesome! Driver 2"
- Issue 152, July 1994: "Bloody hell...Harvester's in town'
- Issue 96, October 1989: "World Exclusive Batman Game Reviewed'
- Issue 132, November 1992: Blanka's in your nightmares...'