"Vette continues to respond in a lifelike fashion after players have been torturing her for hours... The game has dialogue written specifically FOR players who choose to treat their companion like this."
The Daily Mail couldn't make it a week into 2012 before it posted up its latest tirade against video games, this time BioWare's The Old Republic.
"One day I was sitting on my chair, in the zone, my eyes closed, my headphones on... Suddenly I felt my chair move. I looked around. Standing there was the Microsoft chair adjustment personnel... I thought; this is insane."
Peter Molyneux reveals the moment he realised he had to leave Microsoft and it's 'creatively suffocating' safety procedures.
"After lots of pub discussion the overriding opinion was that they had seen sense and decided to pay us all bit extra to keep us quiet about just how illegally the studio had been running."
Former Codemasters programmer Semi Essessi acuses the publisher of operating "illegally" and threatening sacked staff with bankruptcy proceedings.
"Islamic extremists know cops monitor phone calls, emails and online messages. So they are turning to PlayStation and Xbox games to keep their deadly plans secret."
The Sun uncovers the "conspirators" using Halo to discuss their dodgy plans (and "train") over Xbox Live.
"A lot of feedback, both anger and support - understandable. No-one wins from this. But I'm sure that as an industry we will pull through."
GAME CEO Ian Shepherd remains optimistic ahead of the retailer's eventual entry in to administration earlier this year.
"There are so many evil companies that want to control the flow of information because they managed to do so for 20 years, and they want to do it forever."
Minecraft creator Marcus 'Notch' Persson joins the band of devs in opposition to DRM.
"We don't need to be first to market. We need to be the best to market."
Zynga CEO Mark Pincus responds to plagiarism accusations.
"4,661 direct and indirect jobs; £188 million in investment expenditure by studios; increase the games development sector's contribution to UK GDP by £283 million; generate £172 million in new and protected tax receipts to HM Treasury, and could cost just £96 million over five years."
Industry body TIGA predicts the benefits a proposed games tax break will bring to the UK.
"I think this is an important moment. I think if those people got what they wanted and they wrote their ending they would be very disappointed in the emotional feeling they got because ... they didn't really create it."
BioShock creator Ken Levine joins the Mass Effect 3 ending debate.
"I've nothing against big tits - I'd rather have my head resting on a pair right now - but if you're going to try and stimulate someone on different levels, there's better ways to do it."
"I got the pitch of what they have planned for 6 and I'm pretty geeked up about it. They already know what they're going to be doing for multiple expansions ahead."
"We're saying, 'Get the hell out of the way.' We're a big game. We're letting you know we're coming. We're giving people plenty of room to move around us."
"Some of the criticism that has been delivered in the heat of passion by our most ardent fans, even if founded on valid principles, such as seeking more clarity to questions or looking for more closure, for example - has unfortunately become destructive rather than constructive."
BioWare CEO Ray Muzyka responds to the furore caused by Mass Effect 3's ending.
"We thought a lot about a sequel... but we found a project that we thought was a better fit for People Can Fly."
Epic Games president Mike Capps delivers the sad news that there will be no immediate Bulletstorm sequel from its original developer.
"THQ has had some good games, but their quality levels aren't even remotely ... the quality hasn't measured up. To put it another way: the food was no good and the portions were small. THQ won't be around in six months."
"EA releases an 'indie bundle'? That's not how that works, EA. Stop attempting to ruin everything, you bunch of cynical bastards. Indies are saving gaming. EA is methodically destroying it."
Minecraft creator Markus 'Notch' Persson isn't happy about the release of the "EA Indie Bundle" on Steam.
"From a business perspective that would be absolutely awesome. It's weird that it is still allowed because it doesn't work like that in any other software industries, so it would be great if they could somehow fix that issue as well."
Crytek's director of creative development, Rasmus Hojengaard, gets excited by the idea of a pre-owned games block for next-gen consoles. Amid uproar from the community, the developer later claimed he was joking.
"We're sure that bank presidents, oil, tobacco, and weapons companies are all relieved they weren't on the list this year. We're going to continue making award-winning games and services played by more than 300 million people worldwide."
EA responds to being named "worst company in America" in The Consumerist's annual list.
"I disagree with broad declarations that a show which hasn't occurred yet is irrelevant. Folks haven't even seen what's going to take place... What happens in LA will be heard around the globe and echo around for the months to follow."
E3 organiser ESA blasts critics who claim the annual gaming expo has become 'irrelevant' and 'out-dated'.
"You're only really getting half a show this year. You're getting Wii U but you're not getting the other half of the story so it's a bit awkward."
Meanwhile EA Labels boss Frank Gibeau says what we're all thinking; everybody's holding off for E3 2013's next-gen reveal.
"Some of our competitors, seemingly, are losing the plot, forgetting what built this industry. It was the gamer. And our press conference really drove that home... I think we did a very good job of drawing a solid line in the sand here at E3, and standing up with our back straight as PlayStation and saying 'We're for gamers'."
Sony exec Jack Buser claims the PS3 firm's rivals are 'neglecting core gamers'.
"I say to you respectfully, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, go fuck yourselves."
CSI actress Aisha Tyler makes a blunt response to online "haters" following criticism of her Ubisoft E3 presentation.
"Knowing that 20% of the players will see the last level of the game. It's horrible to know. It makes the people working on it really really sad."
Metrics suggest the majority of Hitman: Absolution players won't reach the end, says IO's Tore Blystad.
"There's no such thing as not being able to annualize a franchise. If it's good, people will come... If they put out Breaking Bad every day I'd watch it every day. I wouldn't need other TV."
Ubisoft exec director Laurent Detoc defends the company's annualisation of Assassin's Creed - and says he'd like to make AC8, 9 and 10.
"Don't worry. We are [pushing platform holders] absolutely every day. This is why we did Samaritan and why we're doing a really high-end demo in the room here. We really are pushing these guys, because if they don't, Apple will go right past them."
Epic's Mark Rein reveals the Unreal Engine dev reveals it's "constantly pushing" platform holders for more powerful next-gen consoles.
"You told us you'd never be in business with us. They wouldn't even take a meeting because mixed martial arts disgusted them... I'm telling you straight-up, I'm at war with them right now."
"Build next gen immersive experiences that extend beyond the TV. Incorporate the living room into your storytelling."
Microsoft's leaked Xbox 720 files describe plans for Augmented Reality "Kinect Shades" in June.
"It's really disconcerting to have the person you're sitting next to going, 'Arglearglargle'. 'You just Googled me, didn't you?' I don't think tongue input is in our futures."
Valve boss Gabe Newell reveals the firm has experimented with a "tongue controller".
"Other companies might launch next-gen consoles with more power, but we don't necessarily think that the difference between Wii U will be as drastic."
Nintendo honcho Satoru Iwata says he doesn't expect next-gen consoles to replicate the Wii-vs-PS3/360 power gap.
"He said something which is certainly a word that is not in our vocabulary and not in our communication."
Crystal Dynamics continue to talk their way out of claims made by a producer, that its upcoming Tomb Raider reboot features an attempted 'rape' scene.
"This is the longest generation we've seen between consoles, and it has brought us to a point where we can't take it any further."
Crytek producer Mike Read continues the Crysis studio's push for a new generation of console hardware.
"The goal for the battles is for them to be the most awe-inspiring sight you've ever seen in a computer game."
Creative Assembly unveils RTS stunner Rome 2: Total War
"I think there's a subtle racism in the business, especially on the journalists' side... Just think about how many Japanese games are released where their stories are literally gibberish. Then Gears of War comes out and apparently it's the worst written narrative in a game ever."
Assassin's Creed 3's creative director Alex Hutchinson says he'd take Gears over Bayonetta any day.
"At the end of the day, a woman has needs - sexual needs - and I'm just looking for someone to overload my buffer."
ShagaGamer.com provides "virgin gamers" with some not-so-useful dating tips in September.
"1) It'll be outdated within a year. 2) Vita masquerading as the GamePad. 3) The threat to all consoles - mobile gaming. 4) DS + Wii = fail? 5) It's dramatically over-priced."
The Sun again: this time the tabloid publishes its 5 reasons not to buy a Wii U - two months before release.
"We're frustrated by the lack of innovation in the computer hardware space, so we're jumping in. Even basic input, the keyboard and mouse, haven't really changed in any meaningful way over the years."
Half-Life dev Valve announces it's hiring hardware development specialists for a mysterious new project.
"We're the last of the dinosaurs. We're still the monster triple-A game with very large teams [and] multiple studios helping out on different bits. There are fewer and fewer of these games being made, especially as the middle has fallen out."
"We actually got a lot of feedback from people who were playing it, saying, 'We want bigger breasts. Make the characters more like that.' That was kind of surprising."
Dead or Alive 5 director Yohei Shimbori explains why plans for the series' "new, more mature, look" seemingly never materialised.
"There is one thing we are absolutely sure of - there will be no more Shepard, and the trilogy is over."
"The guy I spoke to on the plane was very nice and I'm really pleased he loves the game but the facts have got a bit confused somewhere."
Billy Murray, the voice actor behind Modern Warfare's Captain Price, shoots down reports that he confirmed a fourth entry in the series during a mid-flight conversation with a fan.
"I think the Wii U is good, but I don't feel it's great. I find holding the device in my hand - looking up at the screen, and looking down at the device - slightly confusing as a consumer."
Peter Molyneux reveals in November he believes that Nintendo's new console is a "slightly confusing" proposition for consumers.
"Los Santos is bigger than the worlds of Red Dead Redemption, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas and GTA IV's Liberty City combined."
Rockstar art director Aaron Garbut blows gamers' minds with the revelation that it's even mapped out the ocean floor in its latest GTA city.
"Chances are you thought it was a mistake, but we prefer to think that it was an omen, and when the universe talks, you should listen."
BioWare responds with free games, following reports of Mass Effect 2 discs being found in Black Ops II packaging.
Influential credit rating agency Fitch Group downgrades Sony's debt rating to below investment grade.
"We are in the seventh year of the 360. We need new consoles and at the end of the cycle generally the market goes down because there are less new IPs, so that damaged the industry a little bit."
Ubisoft CEO Yves Guillemot says the extended lifecycle of current-gen consoles has "damaged the industry".
"In the end, our competitors need to react to what we're doing in the marketplace and need to figure out what their innovation will be."
America President Reggie Fils-Aime continues his bullish approach to discussing competitors.
"This 99 percent complete stuff is just bullshit."
An anonymous ex-LucasArts employee disputes claims that developer Free Radical had almost finished Star Wars: Battlefront 3 before it was closed.
"We are treated well, but we feel we should rather be with our families rather than here."
A hand written letter from ARMA devs Ivan Buchta and Martin Pezlar, who are still being held in Greece after being arrested and accused of espionage.