Hey internet, it's the one and only Deadpool and I'm here to tell you fine *website name* readers about my brand new video game 'Deadpool'. Great name, right?
Originally some hack writer was going to do this preview/interview thing but, after careful consideration, I've decided to hold him hostage at gunpoint and do it myself. The lawyers aren't happy about it but I like to think of it as 'brand preservation'. And yes, I can type with one hand... thank you Playboy!
Does anyone even read things with this many words on the internet? It's the internet! People are knocking themselves out, there's pictures of adorable cats everywhere, and do you know how easy it is to find chicks naked? Anyways, let's get this show on the road.
Obviously this is a game about yours truly; Wade Wilson, the Merc with a Mouth. I've been in a few games over the years: X-Men Legends 2, Marvel Ultimate Alliance, X-Men Origins: Wolverine (I was voiced by Goku in that one), and most recently I kicked all kinds of ass in Marvel Vs. Capcom 3. But this is the first game all about me. And it's about. damn. time.
If you're wondering why the skeletons at Marvel are finally letting me be the star of my own show, I think it might be have something to do with that movie that may or may not be happening. *Wink* *Wink*. And of course, they figured out they can make mucho dinero by cashing in on my popularity.
So, my game is a third-person action thing being made by the boffins at High Moon Studios. The same dudes that did the Transformers games you all expected to be complete garbage, but were actually quite good. Go out and buy them, these programmers could do with more money.
I've got High Moon's Sean Miller, who is creative director on this here piece of software, with me for quotes. Apparently you video game journalist people like padding out these things with hokey quotes for context, flavour and that kinda crap. I got some! Hit it Sean.
"With Deadpool, Activision has this relationship with Marvel, I am a lifelong X-Men fan, I've loved them since I was a kid. When I saw there was an opportunity to play in that universe, we seized at it. But what we didn't want to do was something that had been done over and over.
Says the man making a third-person action game... AMIRITE guys?
"If you do games based on Wolverine it has to be that character, you're kind of limited because everybody knows that character."
Careful buddy, you're basically saying I'm a nobody...
"Here we had this character who was this flawed superhero, that was interesting. The idea that he was insane created this mixture of comedy and really visceral action. I love the visceral action but I also like to laugh, I don't think we do that enough in games.
Obviously he hasn't played Daikatana.
"We found that there were elements to Deadpool that we related to in that he's flawed and I think there are elements of him that touch me as gamer, both in what he does and his kind of combat."
WOAH! WOAH! WOAH there Mr. Game Developer. Lets not talk about me touching you. What he's trying to say is that my game has ass whoopin' parts, and I'll bring the funnies too. It's the classic Deadpool formula.
For example in one mission I have to go to Genosha, the mutant utopia that Magneto set up. Things have gone pretty sour over there, Mister Sinister is going all crazy scientist, talking about "purifying the mutant race" and other crazy crap that always earns him a beating. That techno vampire looking chump loves his clones, and Genosha has lots of mutant DNA laying about. Not good.
On the way there the X-Jet crash lands on the island, I don't know who had their feet on that thing's pedals but based on my flight experience I'm guessing Professor X; that joke is funny because he's a paraplegic. Don't be offended he's a fictional character, and an asshole.
After the dust clears I notice the X-Babes are out cold, and you know what that means: creepshot time!
Wolverine's unconscious too, so I slapped him about to wake him. He didn't come to. So I slapped him around a bit more. Because I can, and because I get a bit aroused when I slap people. Each to their own. The slapping is a button-bashing quick time event, do gamers still hate those? I can't keep up with what you people hate and don't hate.
When the fun and games are over Deadpool takes care of business, and that means shooting and stabbing stuff. In my game combat is a seamless blend of styles, I've got my trusty swords - for stabby stabby - and more guns than I have licenses for. Each of these bad boys can be upgraded and has its own moves. You should see some of the moves I pull off, I've given them awesome names like "The Equaliser" and "Suck it Gravity". If that doesn't crack you up I make "pew pew" sounds when I fire my gun and kick people in the balls.
Tagging in Sean.
"Then there's the more vulnerable state; he's a guy that cracks wise. Why do people make people laugh? Because they want to be liked. There's an element of that in the comics and it was fascinating to me.
"So we put together a pitch for what we thought would be a good Deadpool game and found that Marvel was interested in it too. When we did our prototype and showed them the mature take they dug in with both feet, which was fantastic. For me that's been one of the best parts, I get to play in a universe that I've loved for 25 years."
Jeez, short and sharp next time motor mouth.